New Beginnings
by ChrisSnow78
Summary: Summary inside. WARNING: HTTYD2 spoilers in summary and story.


_Set immediately after HTTYD 2's coronation scene, Astrid helps Hiccup come to terms with Stoick's death and the pressure of suddenly being the new Chief. Rated M for an ending with the distinctive scent of Pledge._

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><p>The latch scraped across the striker plate and settled into the mortise with a soft click as Hiccup gently eased the door shut behind him. Astrid looked at home here, as she always did, but Valka stood in front of him, mouth agape, looking around and absorbing the surroundings. The house had been rebuilt nearly a dozen times since her "death", and his father always ensured it was rebuilt exactly the same to help keep his memories of her from fading.<p>

_His father._

The full weight of the loss was yet to settle on him. There hadn't been time. But now... He touched the charcoal mark on his forehead that Gothi had placed there not an hour ago and it all hit him at once. Finding his mother, losing his father, nearly losing his best friend, nearly losing his village, and the full impact of it now being _his_ village. The crushing weight overwhelmed him spiritually _and_ physically. His knees buckled and he crashed to the floor.

Astrid and Valka were quickly at his side. His eyes were wide with both pain and panic.

"Oh, Hiccup," Valka said, touching his face. But her touch did nothing to calm him, could not calm him. Their relationship was too new. In this moment, for this need, she was practically a stranger. But thankfully Astrid was also here, and it was her touch that seemed to calm him. Together, they got him back on his feet.

"It's…too much," he said hoarsely.

Astrid exchanged a look with Valka that assured her Hiccup was in capable hands. Her impotence obviously pained her, but only time could fix that. Supporting him, Astrid helped him up the stairs to his room and sat beside him on the bed.

Hiccup was strong. Stoick was the only person she ever met who was stronger. But he needed her now. There was a vulnerability in him, a required one. It was what allowed him to be open and frank and fair. It was that vulnerability that gave him the vision to see people, to know them and understand them. To know and understand the dragons. To be able to persuade them without seeming haughty or smug. To be a true peacemaker. It was what would bring him to be the greatest Chieftain the world had ever known.

But now it would be working against him. In the last 24 hours, the world he knew ended and another was born out of chaos, destruction, and pain. Those same three elements had prevented him from seeing that new world. Now those distractions were gone and he had come home to a house terribly empty, that would never seem full again, and there was nothing but an aching unnatural silence and all the time in the world to contemplate it. His strength would rise him above it and allow him to conquer it, but right now his soul would be laid open as a gaping, jagged wound.

He was staring away into nothing again. She knew his eyes, could gaze into them for hours, and had. These eyes were not his. They were cold, empty.

There was a heavy thump as Toothless came through the trapdoor in the ceiling and dropped to the floor. He looked at them as he entered and instantly sensed Hiccup's emotional state. His huge expressive eyes filled with worry and he approached the bed apprehensively. Astrid laid her hand on his head.

"It's okay, Toothless. I've got him."

At the sound of her voice, Hiccup focused on her. Those cold eyes went away, replaced by ones more normal, but haunted and afraid. He whispered her name weakly. Toothless slowly backed away. He knew that he and Hiccup were brothers, sharing a kindred spirit, and were, in a way, closer than Hiccup and Astrid could ever be. But because of that, he also knew the depth of Hiccup's anguish, and knew that right now he needed not a brother who shared his spirit, but that essential other half of himself who shared his soul.

She wrapped him in her arms. He was trembling. Tears came, flowed freely, but he made not a sound. She cradled his head against her breast so he could hear her heart beating, wiping the tears away as they fell. After a few minutes, the tremors subsided and finally ceased.

"He's gone, Astrid. He's really, really gone."

"I know. I know he is."

"I never told him..."

"Never told him what?"

"How much..." He choked on a sob. "How much he _meant_ to me."

"He knew, Hiccup. He always knew."

He seemed not to hear her.

"I mean, I told him I loved him. But I never told him how much he _meant_. How he anchored my whole _life_." His voice fell to a whisper. "I idolized him. Even when I hated him, I idolized him. I always...I always thought it was me. I wasn't big enough...strong enough..._Viking_ enough. I wanted to be him. But how could I ever? How could anyone ever be Stoick The Vast?"

He was silent a moment. "And now I have to be. I thought I'd have more time. More time to learn. I'm not ready, Astrid. I'm not ready to be Chief. I would've told him that if all this hadn't happened. I don't know what to do without him. How can I ever live up to all he was?"

"Hiccup, I know you're hurting. And that right now you might not be able to believe what I'm saying. But you _are_ ready. And you don't have to live up to him. You..." She was going to tell him that he would eventually exceed his father's accomplishments, but it wasn't the right thing to say now. It would seem to diminish Stoick. "You will make your own path. And you will make him proud."

For a moment, he still seemed not to hear her. Then he suddenly sat up, shrugging her off.

"No, I won't. Look at me." He stood up. Astrid stood with him. The faraway look in his eyes was gone, replaced by a steely determination. "Cradled in a woman's arms like a child, weeping and whimpering like an infant. He would be ashamed of me."

"Hiccup, there is no shame in grief."

"No, there isn't. But there is in _that_," he said, indicating where they'd been sitting with a tilt of his head.

"Hiccup, don't take this the wrong way. But please know, you never have to pretend with me."

He made a sound that was probably supposed to pass for frustration, but Astrid recognized it as an almost panicked evasion. His arms did that shaky jumpy thing they did. "What do you mean?" He said a bit crossly, "Pretend what, pretend how?"

"This. This act. It's not necessary. Look, you know my dad. He's a great father, but he's just not _there_ like he could be. But after we started dating, Stoick always was. And I loved him for that. Loved him like my own father. And I love _you_. I know you." She put a hand on his chest, over his heart. "Here. I know how badly you're hurting. You don't have to pretend to be the invincible, stoic Viking for me."

"Yes, I do. It's expected of me. As Chief."

"But you're not my chief. You're my husband. As good as, anyway. We've never hid anything from each other before. We can't start now."

"My father wouldn't agree with you. He would be ashamed of me."

"No. No, Hiccup, he was _so_ proud of you. Of everything you've done and of everything you are. He could never be ashamed of you."

"He would if he saw this."

"You don't think he reacted the same way when he thought your mother was killed?"

"No. He would have soldiered on. It's what he did."

She took his arm. "He was a great man, Hiccup. But he _was_ a man."

He pushed her hands away, angry with her persistence. "You didn't know him like I did, Astrid! You don't know what you're talking about."

"Hiccup, trust me. About this...I know."

"No you don't."

She looked at the floor, heaving a great sigh. "But I do."

She reached into a pocket and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper. She held it in her lap for a moment, as though it were some sort of talisman, then offered it to him. He opened it and immediately recognized his father's handwriting. He looked at her, his face a question.

"He asked me not to tell you. But...under the circumstances...if it's the only way to convince you, I don't think he would mind. "

Hiccup turned his eyes to the page.

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><p><em>Dear Astrid,<em>

_Hiccup told me at dinner tonight that the two of you will be announcing your betrothal at the town meeting tomorrow. I cannot express how overjoyed I was to hear this news. As I have watched your relationship develop these last five years, your love for each other has grown more and more obvious with each passing day. I have known this day would come for some time. You complete Hiccup's life as no other could. I know the intensity of his love by the way he looks at you, for it is the same way I looked at my belovèd Valka._

_There are some things you need to know. I imagine that if Valka were still here, she would sit down with you and have this conversation, and have it much better than I. But this letter will have to do. Someday, someday soon, Hiccup will be Chieftain of Berk. His duty will be to uphold and protect the village. It will be a solemn duty, and a heavy burden. As his wife, it will be your duty to uphold and protect him. That also will be a solemn duty, and a heavy burden. I was 28 when my father was killed by a Monstrous Nightmare. I suddenly found myself as the new Chief. I wasn't ready, as Hiccup is at only 20. My father hadn't prepared me as I have tried so hard to prepare him. And with the threat of the dragons gone, I know that I will be there to provide council as he grows into the great leader he will become._

_But I didn't have that. What I did have was the love and support of my wife. We were newlyweds, but without her I'm not certain I would have made it through those first few months. And even after she was gone, I would lie awake in bed and imagine her looking down on me from her place in Valhalla or Folkvangr, and talk to her, seeking her support. In the darkest hours during that first year without her, almost crippled with grief, as I struggled to lead my people and raise Hiccup on my own, I would contemplate seeking out the dragons' lair alone to attack it, to die gloriously in combat and join her there. If not for Hiccup, I might actually have done it, too._

_I never discuss my emotions with the tribe. To a large extent, my image depends on the appearance of not having any. I am writing all this because I could never say it to you directly. As I said, that would've been Valka's job. And oh, how I have ached for her these twenty years. What I wouldn't give to touch her face again. To kiss her lips. To spin with her as we sang _For The Dancing and the Dreaming_ one last time. To see the pride in her eyes when she meets the great man her son has become. How I wish she could've stood by me these long years. There were so many times that I needed her. As Hiccup will need you. My mother once told me that behind every great man is an even greater woman. There is much truth in that. You must be that great woman for Hiccup. He idolizes me. He would give anything to be the great, strong, and stoic Stoick The Vast. But he is not. He has a softness, and it is that softness that has made him greater than I ever could be. It is you who has my strength, and in his most desperate hours, when his own great strength fails, he will need to draw the remainder from you. And there is no one I would choose above you to take on that duty. I will be proud to call you my daughter._

_Please, do not show this to Hiccup. It would lessen the image he has of me in his mind. Or worse, give me that much more to have to live up to in order to appear to be the man he thinks I am. Know that I am looking forward to standing together with the two of you tomorrow and giving my blessing for your coming marriage._

_Stoick._

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><p>Astrid watched a parade of subtle emotions wash across his face as he read the letter. But his eyes remained dry. His strength had returned. But his eyes were still haunted.<p>

"I remember him leaving that night. He never told me where. But obviously to deliver this to you." He took a deep breath, let it out slowly as he refolded the letter and handed it back to Astrid. She returned the letter to its pocket. "All this time...I never knew who he really was."

"No. No, Hiccup. You knew _exactly_ who he was. He was a great man, a great leader. He was your father. All this time, you were trying to live up to his expectations, and he was trying to live up to yours. And you both succeeded. And you both failed. The bar was set so high that even the gods couldn't have reached it. But you both reached as far as even the gods could. You made him the great man he was, and he made you the great man you are. Maybe there was much left unsaid between the two of you. But none of it needed to be said. You both knew." She placed her hand over his heart. "In here."

Hiccup wrapped his arms around her.

"I miss him. I miss him so much."

"I know you do. I miss him too. But we'll be all right."

Hiccup broke the embrace. "Will we?"

"Of course we will. Hiccup, you read what Stoick said about you. And honestly, I think he underestimated you. This...this moment is an aberration. I can already see that you're over that deep chasm of despair. And it only took you a few minutes. Someone else could spend days, or weeks immersed in that. Your father believed in you. And _I_ believe in you."

He took her chin with his thumb and forefinger. "Thank you."

He kissed her forehead and wrapped his arms tightly around her. After a few moments, he released her and she looked up at him.

"We should get a fire going. It's getting cold in here."

"Oh, that's easy."

He turned to the Night Fury who had been lying on his slate bed, keeping close attention on their conversation.

"Toothless?"

The dragon raised his head. It had always been Hiccup's job to prepare the wood for the night's fire before leaving the house in the morning, both in the main fireplace downstairs and the much smaller one that heated his room. It was still there from yesterday, waiting. Toothless ignited it with a low level plasma blast, and a roaring fire instantly filled the fireplace. He snorted in approval and lay his head back down. Astrid pulled the blankets from Hiccup's bed, and quickly made a makeshift pallet in front of the hearth. She gestured to Hiccup and they sat down, leaning against each other and soaking up the heat.

After a time, both of them responding to some unspoken cue, they stretched out, he lying behind her with one arm stretched above his head and the other around her waist.

"It's daunting," he said softly.

She knew to what he was referring, but asked anyway because he needed to answer.

"The…the whole idea of life without my father. Of being Chief. When I stood up after Gothi christened me, and Gobber declared me as Chief…I looked out over all those cheering people…" He drew a long breath, let it out through pursed lips. "I realized that all those lives, all those hopes and dreams and worries and fears, all hung around my neck. They all looked to me now.

"Astrid…I never wanted to be Chief. Not for myself. I wanted it because Dad wanted me to want it. Because he expected it of me. I always thought that Dad would be here to guide me, help me grow into the role. Now it's like I'm standing at the end of a road, at the end of my father's road. And he's not there. Gods help me, Astrid…how do I do this without him?"

She rolled over to face him and put her hand to his cheek. "You turn. And you take a new road. Your road…_Our_ road. And we walk it together. You were always going to do this without him. Sure, you thought he'd be here to give you advice, but since you were born, this was always going to come down to you and...whatever..._incredibly_ lucky woman you ended up with."

He stroked her cheek with the back of his fingers. "Incredibly _beautiful_ woman."

"We'll get through this. Together. I promise."

She kissed him lightly on the lips, not intending for it to be more than a momentary gesture. But as she began to pull away she hesitated and the kiss intensified, and in only a moment, comfort turned to passion. At first it seemed an inappropriate action considering the pall of grief filling the room, but the realization came that it was the only right action. For the only thing capable of conquering death was love.

Kissing led to touching, touching to pawing, pawing to groping, and when Astrid began fumbling with the leather straps on his jacket, they realized at the same moment that they had just passed into uncharted territory. They broke apart, both slightly breathless, and stared at each other for a moment.

"We said we wouldn't," Astrid said.

"_Promised_ we wouldn't.

"Promised _ourselves_. That means if we both agree, we can un-promise." She hesitated. "Doesn't it?"

"But we promised for a reason. So that it's right. So that everything's right."

"But it's just a ceremony. We're as good as married already."

"It's not just a ceremony. It's where we promise ourselves to each other before the gods."

"Before the gods, or before the village?"

"Both."

She sighed and put her forehead to his chest.

"But this just seems so right," she whispered. "How can a few weeks make a difference?"

"It's not about the time, Astrid. It's about the vows."

She sighed again. "I know."

Hiccup whispered something softly.

"What?"

"It's about the vows," he said again, only just able to be heard. Astrid looked up at him. There was something in his inflection. He looked into her eyes, his lips only a fraction of an inch from hers. He took a breath and spoke softly, solemnly.

"Do you Astrid, daughter of Iona, swear by Odin the Allfather, by Thor and by Freyja, and by all the gods of Asgard, to take me as your husband, to possess me and cherish me, to love me in peace and in war, to stand by me at home and on the battlefield, to council me when troubled, to care for me when sick, and to forsake all other men for all the days of your life?"

The sacred words stirred her emotions like never before. This was not how she imagined her wedding. But only because she hadn't thought to imagine it this way. This close, intimate, private ceremony, with their vows immediately consummated, was more perfect than any public event could ever be. She whispered her response without hesitation and with utter certainty.

"I swear. And do you Hiccup, son of Stoick, swear by Odin the Allfather, by Thor and by Freyja, and by all the gods of Asgard, to take me as your wife, to possess me and cherish me, to love me in peace and in war, to stand by me at home and on the battlefield, to council me when troubled, to care for me when sick, and to forsake all other women for all the days of your life?"

"I swear."

Improvising without thought, she brought his left hand to her mouth and kissed the finger where his ring would be.

"Then now before all the gods, I declare you to be forever wed to me."

Hiccup repeated the gesture. "And before all the gods, I declare _you_ to be forever wed to _me_."

He stared in her eyes for a long moment. "I love you, Astrid Haddock."

The name sounded strange, but wonderful. "And I love you."

Toothless, whom they'd all but forgotten, made an odd chortling sound Hiccup hadn't previously heard him make, and he loosed a blast of plasma into the fireplace that caused the flames to flare brightly.

"He approves," Astrid said.

"And I think he counts as a witness."

Toothless made the chortling sound again, then rose and leapt through the trapdoor in the ceiling. Hiccup turned his eyes back to his wife. Her blue eyes met his green forthrightly. The kiss that followed was unparalleled and their clothes seemed almost to dissolve, as though in a dream. Hiccup was taken aback by her beauty, her fair skin cast in flickering golden hues by the firelight. He explored her body with hands, lips, and tongue, drawing gasps, sighs, and moans of pleasure from her. He delighted in her beauty, in the flatness of her stomach, the softness of her breasts, firmness of buttocks and thighs, turgid nipples, lustrous lips.

She responded to his touch with soft sighs and moans, and she ran her hands along his body, caressing him. He positioned himself above her, and she took him in her hands.

"Please," she gasped. "Please."

He was hesitant at first, holding back, but she guided him to her entrance. "Quickly. Into me. Please."

He slowly entered her, hesitating again as he encountered resistance and heard her hiss in pain. She grabbed his rear and pulled.

"In," she commanded in a whisper. "_Now_!"

He thrust himself within her and she cried out.

"_Oh_! Hiccup."

"I'm sorry."

"No! Keep going."

He moved slowly within her, thrusting gently. He supported his weight with one arm, using the other hand to caress her, roaming up and down her sides, across her breasts and stomach, always returning to that special spot, all the while peppering her face and neck with small kisses. She began gasping in rythym with his thrusts as they became faster and harder, running her hands up and down along his back. Soon the gasps became grunts.

She pushed up on his chest and he drew away, and as he did she rolled him over, snorting as the action uncoupled them. She sat on his hips, straddling him and leaned against him to kiss him, exploring his mouth with her tongue as he ran his hands across her back and enveloped her in his arms. When she broke the kiss he let go, and she sat up, lifted her hips, took him in her hand and guided him back into her with a soft gasp.

He ran his hands along every exposed patch of skin they could reach as she rode him, while running her hands along his chest. Soon she was panting in time with her own thrusts. A shiver ran up and down her spine when he gasped and whispered her name and an indescribable pressure began to build within her.

The pace of her thrusting quickened, and her gasps became ragged, mixed with soft moans. She grasped his shoulders tightly as the pressure shut out the outside world, focused all her senses completely on the overwhelming sensations racing across her nerves. Her breath came in staccato bursts.

"Unh…unh…unh...Hic…oh! _Ahhhhhh_!"

The pressure finally released and a wave of pleasure she wouldn't even have thought to _imagine_ before washed over her as every muscle in her body tensed. Hiccup felt her tighten around him, which brought him past the point of no return. He practicly exploded within her, and as he did, his essence seemed to be a glue that bonded their souls permanently into a single life force. For that brief moment, there was no Hiccup and no Astrid, only a single organism unaware of the outside world. And as they receded from that state of perfect unity, a void was created in each of them that could be filled only with the presence of the other.

They lay together, curled tightly around each other and basking in the radiant heat of the fire, trying to hold onto that feeling of oneness, afraid to speak for fear that the spell might be broken. Finally, after a long while Hiccup kissed Astrid's forehead as tenderly as he had ever kissed her, stroked her cheek and looked in her eyes.

"Astrid…I…-"

"Shhh. I know."

"When I tell you I love you, it sometimes seems so empty, so inadequate. Fake even. But that…whatever it was that we just shared, it's what I've meant every time. And words will never be able to express that. But at least now I can say that when I say I love you, that thing is what I mean."

She touched his face. "Oh, baby, I know. I've always known."

"I love you…so _much_."

"And I you. Husband."

They kissed and Astrid felt him swelling against her thigh. She smiled at him.

"Well…if you insist."

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><p><em>A couple of (rambling) notes on the genesis of this story. While no mention is made in cannon of the exact status of Hiccup and Astrid's relationship, I think enough can be inferred by Stoick's mention of Astrid as his "future daughter in law". <em>Dragon Wiki _describes the comment as merely a wish of Stoick's, but to me that is not the type of comment you would make in such a public setting, __particularly__ if you were the_ leader_ of the community, unless it was an established fact. It also seemed to me as though he got a real kick out of using the phrase, as though it were still fresh, so perhaps the engagement was a relatively recent announcement. On top of that, _Dreamworks_ does a fabulous job of animating a lot of little physical subtleties into the characters, along with a lot of great writing, that demonstrates them as having been a couple for an extended amount of time and ready for marriage._

_Another great job of character animation is the pan shot of Hiccup while the crowd cheers for him after Gobber declares "the Chief has returned!". A range of very subtle facial tics combined with equally subtle widening and narrowing of the eyes that show just how daunted and yet determined he is in his new leadership role, and determined as well not to show it in front of the people. A very nice touch mirroring Stoick's almost imperceptibly brief moment of being emotionally overwhelmed after "disowning" Hiccup in the first film._

_Hiccup's eulogy for Stoick was also a great piece of voice acting by Jay Baruchel. The halting, broken cadence of the speech demonstrates a man both overwhelmed and uncertain._

_As for the lovemaking sequence, it was really a little more graphic than I would have preferred, but from a practical standpoint, the "essence as glue" bit sort of required a lead in of more than just sly references to the physical act. And since I hate doing anything in half measures, I figured that if I was going to do it I might as well do it right._

_And regarding the name of Astrid's mother, given that there is no reference to her parentage in cannon, I chose the name Iona, which is Norse for "born on an island" which is the only thing I can be reasonably certain is true about her._

_So all those thoughts rolled together and became the modest literary effort above. I hope you enjoyed it!_

_CS_


End file.
